Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Why We Should All Care about what Happened to @FinleyFawn

So last month a friend and fellow cam model FinleyFawn found herself the victim of both Parental Alienation and Discrimination by the family court for being a cam model.

Here's what happened...

Some of Finley's mail that had her stage name on it was sent to her ex husband's address. He already knew what she did for a living, but claimed he only just learned of her job when he received that piece of mail. The truth is that he didn't know her stage name until that piece of mail came. He finally had the info he needed to do a google search, found her twitter and clips4sale store, printed some screen shots, and then took them to the court and used it to get an emergency restraining order and temporary physical custody of their son. In the papers he filed with the court, he claimed that she was exposing their six year old son to sex work. Saying that she was performing live sex acts over the internet and filming porn movies with the bedroom door wide open while their son was home, in full view of him.

I'm telling you right now that those allegations are complete bull shit, and this a classic case of parental alienation. Being the victim of parental alienation myself, I can relate to what she's going through.

Parental alienation is a form of child abuse!  It's a group of behaviors that are damaging to children's mental and emotional well-being, and can interfere with a relationship of a child and either parent. These behaviors most often accompany high conflict marriages, separation or divorce.

These behaviors whether verbal or non-verbal, cause a child to be mentally manipulated or bullied into believing a loving parent is the cause of all their problems, and/or the enemy, to be feared, hated, disrespected and/or avoided.

Parental alienation deprive children of their right to be loved by and showing love for both of their parents. The destructive actions by an alienating parent or other third person (like another family member, or even a well meaning mental health care worker) can become abusive to the child - as the alienating behaviors are disturbing, confusing and often frightening, to the child, and can rob the child of their sense of security and safety leading to maladaptive emotional or psychiatric reactions.

I'll tell you how I know that the allegations made by Finley's ex husband are bull shit too...

For the moth of July 2015, Finley was generous enough to take me and my daughters into her home (a lovely four bedroom, two bathroom, two story house) when we had nowhere else to go. What I can personally attest to is that I never witnessed her try to interfere with her ex's parenting time, she never spoke badly about her ex around her son, she and her current husband where nothing but loving and attentive parents when he was home with her, and she never exposed either her son or my daughters to anything "work related".

Finley says that this whole situation has done nothing but traumatize her son.

In my humble opinion, if Finley's ex truly had their son's best interest in mind, all of this trauma could have been avoided by simply approaching Finley in a respectable way and discussing his concerns with her parenting style like two mature adults.

It's really heart breaking to think about what Finley and her son are having to endure right now (as I mentioned earlier, I know what it feels like to be victim of an alienating parent).

Another thing that is really disturbing, is how Finley was completely discriminated against by the family court. The judge told Finley that it was pointless for her to tell her side of the story or present any of her evidence because she (the judge) had already made up her mind. I know that judges are pretty much "God" in their court room, and I guess that's what jury trials are for, but still... how a judge can conduct their court like that and still think that they are upholding due process is just beyond me.

This should be of concern to all of us, because if this can happen to Finley, this can happen to any one of us in the "adult entertainment industry" as well. And for those of you who aren't adult entertainers, know that this is much more than just a matter of protecting "sex workers rights"... It's actually a matter of protecting HUMAN RIGHTS! You can't cherry pick what rights should be protected based on morality. If we want to remain a free country, we have to protect ALL RIGHTS! But sadly, not enough people seem to understand this.

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

I wish all the best for Finley and her son, as well as all other victims of parental alienation and sex worker discrimination, and pray that everyone will find the justice they seek soon.

 "Justice delayed is justice denied." - William E. Gladstone


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